Poem - #24 | Wonders

My Wonder

Sometimes I wonder,
Why don't I flip off a tall building?
Why don't I fall down from a cliff?
Why don't I cut on the both sides of my lips?

So that it always feels like I am smiling,

I don't have tell people I am not crying,

I am happy, and the scars will be my smile.

The more I try to be happy

I land up being more sad at the end

The more I laugh,

The more I weep,

Do I deserve to live? I wonder.

Am I a disgrace? I wonder.

Am I a good person,I wonder.

Am I a part of human index, I wonder.

Shall I live?

And I still wonder on this!

~Ashad

All Alone

I wondered like the last leaf

Left all alone to fall in the season of fall,

With nothing all around, but just a cold breeze that I feel,

All the others have left me all alone.

And sometimes when I think,

It always felt like someone, somewhere,

Far away, is reciting my story to someone

Or should I feel that every now and then,

Strange laugh for my existence

Eats me up from inside.

It feels sometimes, that no pain is so harsh,

No emotion can tear you all apart,

No fire can burn me all to ashes,

No desire can ever exist in me all again

All love for you.

Oh! My love,

Will always be there for you.

Until I take my last breath and enter the last sleep,

And with all this thoughts in me the last wind blows.

I wonder where will this take me,

Will it be good or painful or bad?

Someone up there I guess he knows,

But something I know is,

I will always miss my past.

The wonder things I enjoyed in the grandest rain,

And in grandest summer,

Seized deep inside, even though I feel I do not exist.

~ Ashad

My Existence

My existence calls me,

Yes, yet again it calls with pain and thoughts.

To tell me who I am and why I am here.

But I never came to know any of these

And these beautiful rain drops,

Hide my everlasting tear drops.

And the streams of positive thoughts,

Felt like it never existed with us,

And this seems to be a strange place.

With crowds which are

Equal to storming and thundering clouds,

And in this miserable place

I have hate for all I have.

I feel like I never wanted to think of this,

But my life feels like it is major glitch.

I try to come out of this thoughts,

But it is a circle thing I am and I am stuck in,

And I live with my circular thoughts,

With maximum of negatives.

~ Ashad

My Love

Sweet talks is what I miss, when I don't talk to you:

Happiness is what I feel, when I talk to you,

I will kiss all your imperfection out until you are flawless,

Without even thinking is it right or wrong,

Alluring is what you are,

Nothing but your love is all I want,

Glad was I, when I first saw you

I have many things to say but for now

I love you.

~ Ashad

Horror of Mind

Death seems to be better than you,

With everything encrypted in my heart,

It is just tears that fall apart.

Rushing down my cheeks, are the emotion of mine,

With horrors in my mind;

And tears gushing down,

I try to sleep.

This marvels of the world,

Surrounds me, with its pain acknowledged sound,

And makes me wonder I am growing with a glooming heart,

But the beauty if darkness covers me,

Thank you, depression for all of these.

~ Ashad

My Hometown

After a circular hectic way,

Lies my hometown:

That makes people forget the pain that was caused,

During the way to this beautiful place.

With forest and hills to smile upon,

How lucky I am to live on this caring town!

And for my small busy hometown,

I do cry, for when I am gone,

Oh! how lone do I feel,

Without the aura of cold chilling winds.

Of my beautiful hometown,

And how beautiful is the pink and yellow sky.

In the evening, on a casual sunny day,

From my ever busy hometown.

Right above the evergreen forest,

Mesmerizing the eyesight of beautiful little people,

And the yellow sun rays reflecting,

On the beautiful snowy mountain.

Shows how pure are the souls that live here,

And thank you God for creating this wonderful place.

With such a great care.

~Ashad